When you’re a child I can remember adults saying ‘gosh haven’t you grown’. No doubt I probably rolled my eyes or put on a fake smile or fabricate a fake laugh to appease them. You never really think about time passing when you’re a child. Certainly in my teens I began to recognise change more and in my twenties I felt old when I really wasn’t.
It was my nephew’s fifth birthday recently and I still can’t get over how five years have been and gone since he entered my life. I have an enormous amount of love for Edward, he is very special to me. The first of my nephew and nieces, he has an incredible sense of humour, warm heart and is so mature that it seems surreal that he’s only been with us five years yet it seems bizarre that that amount of time has been and gone.
Thinking about time has made me reflect upon how quickly yet slowly these last six months have gone since the girls entered our lives. I set up the Jumperoo this week and watched as Luna excitedly bounced around with Lola and I watching in awe.
It’s mad to think that not so long ago, they would sleep most of the day; felt so delicate in my arms; supporting their necks and only communicated only with cries. Now they laugh, smile, moan, and more that they’ve developed a personality.
Some days I look back at old photos and videos of them reminding me how far we all have come. Moments in time that were all consuming but now were just a phase; days that felt endless because of the lack energy and sleep from the constant feeding; a new skill learnt that fascinates and makes our hearts glow.
One of my brother in law’s friend said to me that he had no idea what having children would be like, that he’s tired after a 14 hour day and that he needs to rest the next day. My brother and I looked at each other and joked about how lay ins are the thing of the past and that even though you miss them it’s not as important as the love you feel for your child. That said I was pretty ill this weekend and went back to bed for two hours childless – it was lovely. The point I’m getting at is that until you have a child, it’s hard to describe the overwhelming sense of love you have for them. How much you change for them to protect and care for them. I feel like a completely different version of myself, hopefully a better one.
Time flies by now I’m an adult. And with that I plan to make every moment count. Therefore this is the end of this post. I want to use the extra time on my family, whether that’s snuggling, laughing, playing or watching old videos of us doing just that.
Love B x