Cars – ‘How can we successful journey without us all dreading it?’

So I beat my fears and went to twin group and it was great. Met some lovely mums and some lovely children. Even though I’ve forgotten they’re names already I’m already looking forward to going next week.

But more on today’s topic. Cars. For some reason both my children hate it. They hate getting into the car seats. They loath being placed in the car. They scream every time the car stops. Why? I wonder if it’s because they’re going backwards and they hate the sensation? I wonder if it’s because they hate being strapped down and not being able to wiggle around? Is it because they don’t see me so they get concerned about where I am?

The car journey was particularly bad today. Luna was screaming blue murder. There was no comforting her. The only I knew she would be calm again was if I stopped the vehicle which I did when we reached our destination. The last time she got that upset I was told by someone I was abusing my child by allowing her to cry like that without comforting her. It’s probably the worst thing anyone has ever said to me but this is not the point I’m making. She was so upset when we arrived at the destination I grabbed her and hugged her trying to calm her down. In an effort to reassure her I stupidly thought to get the pram out to rock her only to fall on my arse with Luna in my arms. Terrifying. What on earth possessed me to think that was a good idea? Luckily a kind man helped me up and opened the pram which did help calm her.

I found myself questioning my own parenting as a result.

– Should I go out in the car if it’s distressing my child so much? It sounds ridiculous but I would never want to hurt her. If going out is traumatizing her then surely I shouldn’t go?

– Is it abuse to allow your child to get that upset? Abuse is a strong word. Was I being cruel to let her continue to get more and more upset? Should I have intervened? Should I be cruel to be kind so she learns about traveling?

– How can I make sure that we all have a successful journey without us all dreading it? Every time I know we’re getting into the car I feel dread. Who will be upset this time? I think since they were born there’s been one occasion where I’ve driven and neither of them cried. Surely there must be some sort of trick(s) to this? I have the mirrors to see their faces. I sing to them their favourite songs to try calm them down, which sometimes works? But surely there must be something I’m not doing?

I can’t never leave the house because my children don’t like the car. That’s ludicrous and if I wasn’t me I would be calling myself pathetic.

But what is the answer? Do you have a screaming baby who hates cars? How do you cope?

Have you gone through this? How did you overcome it?

As ever leave your comments and thoughts below. Please don’t judge my stupidity too much. I love my children with all my heart. We all make mistakes and I have learnt from it. Thanks for reading.

Love B

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